Distraught over record label verdicts (yeah flack, I'm not buying this story), Lindsay Lohan, who we basically regard with the kind of emotional distance as we would a dog rescued from.

A burning trailer, is expanding her dithering empire to include the one thing she overlooked in the past while hang-nailing off SamRon's arm or pissing off various pop icons. That's philanthropy, people!

Lohan is jetting down to India to do charity work in front of some camera crews. Explains the aspiring Melinda Gates, “It all happened actually when I was in Dubai.

I like to support charities, I think it’s important to kind of have a voice when you can have one, and make a difference.” So what’s this little philanthropista’s pet project then? “It’s basically on the trafficking of children in Bihar, India.

So it’ll be starting soon. We’re just trying to work out the times and the dates. I’m a little nervous, but I’m excited to do something like that.”  While there, perhaps she can broker a lucrative one-off Bollywood song-and-dance deal not unlike Kylie Minogue, whose cooing and shimmying earned her about a million bones.

She’s hoping to have the entire project, as well as the worldwide problem of child-trafficking, all sorted out before Thanksgiving. Although it would be best if leading up to the documentary’s premiere, LiLo and a few of her previously-trafficked pals sit for a grand Thanksgiving dinner on network TV. Because without A Very Special Lindsay Lohan Thanksgiving and Lohan saying grace, the turkey is just a gummy dead bird and not a symbol of how far we’ve come as a country of good-doers.