So Lindsay Lohan stole a coat. She went to a nightclub, checked in her coat and checked out somebody else's. Easy mistake to make except that... the new one was an $11,000 mink number inherited by 22 year-old student Masha Markova. Who's now seeking damages. It had been her grandmother's.
There's fair scope for sub-standard puns here, what with Lohan Coke Coat Bust, Lindsay Stole A Stole and She's Stealing The Clothes Off Our Back... But we digress.
The point, or at least that which first illuminated our shadowy moral conscience, is of course: who can blame her? It's not like we've never committed a crime de fashion and, anyways, when you get all those freebies it must be kinda confusing going to cloakroom and being told you can't have whatever you want. Just look at Winona Ryder. Same problem, different era.
Also to be considered: Lindsay may have been sending a covert ethical message along the lines of "I dont buy fur, just steal it."
Not as crazy as it sounds, trust us. Many a time we've boycotted certain retailers because of their tendency to employ slave labour and/or Tory wives. But a freebie? Diffrent story. We know, we've heard it before, and thank you: modern day Robin Hood. Comes naturally.
So finally, a question: of all the wonderful effects Ms Lohan's heist may have, which is best? We're guessing that it might, possibly, maybe, be the New York Post's blow-by-blow account, charmingly entitled "The Star's Walk of Shame." Reproduced, especially for you, in our very own font.
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